Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Meeting (and greeting) your first Extraterrestrial

Due to the recent UFO sightings, it is important for humans to be prepared for the impending visit by aliens to earth in 2012. Here are some simple tips to make the human-alien integration process as easy and painless as possible.


The term "Alien": I use this term to define an extraterrestrial non-earth native. Please keep in mind that the term is relative and is dependent on the perspective of the person. To extraterrestrials, humans are "aliens". For the purpose of this article, I will write from the perspective of an earthling. Please remember however that some extraterrestrials consider "alien" to be a racial slur. Please exercise caution.

Although this article focuses on peaceful co-existance, in very rare cases aliens have arrived to invade and/or destroy earth. If this is the case, please locate and inform the following people:

Will Smith
Patrick Stewart
Tommie Lee Jones
Sigourney Weaver
Arnold Schwarzenner
Bruce Willis
Kurt Russell

First Contact: What to expect

Aliens, like humans, are very different depending on their planet of origin, intelligence, upbringing and intoxication level. Please be mindful that aliens often communicate in ways unfamiliar to humans (such as telepathy or even through complicated body odors).

Unless the aliens have studied earth and learned its languages, there will be a communication barrier. Try to read facial expressions (assuming the alien in question has a face). Use your intuition. For example, can you tell which one of the following aliens is friendly?

I apologize, that was a trick question.

Body language can also be quite telling. For example:

She did not properly interpret body language.


Aliens are quite friendly once you get to know them! After the initial "meet and greet" we should expect a peaceful, egalitarian way of life.

Aliens are also snappy dressers.

Some aliens even try to assimilate parts of other cultures they encounter!

Cultural exchange at it's finest.


It is usually important for members of any species to elect delegates to represent them in the event of a "First Contact". These are my nominations:

Zack Galifanakis
Clearly one of our finest minds.

Bill Clinton
This decision was based purely on his political experience.

Justin Bieber
If we are lucky, they will take him away.
Jodie Foster
She met them already.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Google Street View meets Graffiti

Check out Red Bull's Street art View! It combines Google street view with tagged images of Street art. Anyone can view or add entries to the site.

Street art is often overlooked or gone before any record is made. Keep your eyes open for art and be sure to add it to the database!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Welcome back RoboCop!!!!!

A few days ago, I reported that there was a movement to erect a statue of Detroit's beloved RoboCop near the old train station. The project is now fully funded! Welcome back RoboCop!

There is still time to pledge if you want to be part of the project! I will keep you updated on the progress of this exciting project!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Watson wins at Jeopardy!

I knew this day would come.....

Watson, a fellow robot, has defeated legendary champions Brad Rutter and Ken Jennings at Jeopardy!

I dated his sister.

This proves to the world that robots are meant for more than just menial tasks. We are ready to become full-fledged members of society! Watson has proved that robots are intelligent and deserve respect!

Robot-Human equality is important in the world today. Robots cannot vote, own property or get married. Humans need to realize that they have nothing to fear from robots. Robots are friendly.

The future is now. Support robot rights!



Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Bringing RoboCop back to Detroit

I would like to officially pledge my support for a very important project in Detroit. Imagination Station is currently raising funds to create a statue in Metro Detroit honoring the good work that Officer Alex Murphy, AKA RoboCop has done in this great city.

RoboCop represents the best that humanity and robots can become. He is also a bad-ass.

The project was inspired by a twitter posting and is gaining traction via detroitneedsrobocop.com. You can pledge your support at their kickstarter page.

I'd buy that for a Dollar!

Imagination Station