Friday, September 3, 2010

Zombie vs. Unicorn Meat


I should tell you that I am very open to trying new things. This past weekend I was challenged to try something that sounded both intriguing and terrifying.

Canned Unicorn Meat.


It's like shiny magical SPAM

I approached this strange substance with the caution that one might use when meeting a cuddly kitten with the teeth of a velociraptor. Upon first tasting it, I immediately noticed a surprisingly sweet yet savory taste. This mystical, magnificent meat was like tasting every flavor ever conceived by the collective imagination of mankind.

And then, everything changed for me. For one brief moment, I became a vegetarian.

Not because I was disgusted, but because I knew that I would never again experience a flavor so magical. I had reached the pinnacle of culinary experiences and I would chase that feeling for the rest of my life. My mind was finally clear; The act of eating meat was dead to me.

And then I puked glitter and rainbows for three hours.

The inside of my toilet looks like a teletubbies slaughterhouse

It smelled like lucky charms and tequila. I'll stick to brains from now on.

1 comment:

  1. Haa... i think i dropped some unicorn meat down my toilet roughly a month ago..Looks familiar

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